Frequently asked questions

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English at launch. Bahasa Malay, Bahasa Indonesia, and Arabic are planned, in that order, once the content is reviewed in each language. We are deliberately slow about this — translation done badly is worse than English-only.

Autism is a lifelong, neurological way of experiencing the world. Autistic people often communicate, process sensory information, and connect socially in their own way. It is a spectrum — every autistic person has a different mix of strengths, needs, and traits. Autism is not an illness, and there is nothing to cure.

No. Autism is not a disease, and Soira will never share content that promotes cures or "reversals." What can change with the right support is how comfortably an autistic person moves through the world — through accommodation, therapy where helpful, and people who understand and accept them. If a website or programme promises a cure for autism, treat that as a red flag.

Talking ages vary, and a late-talking toddler is not automatically autistic. That said, if your child has not started using single words by around 16 months, or two-word combinations by around two years — or if they previously had words and lost them — it is worth raising with your paediatrician. Early support helps, and a check-in costs nothing.

A good rule: if something is worrying you, that is reason enough to ask a professional — you do not need to be sure. The American Academy of Pediatrics suggests autism-specific screening at 18 and 24 month visits. Waiting lists can be long, so starting early helps you get a slot.

Stimming is repetitive movement or sound — flapping, rocking, humming, spinning — that helps autistic people regulate their bodies and emotions. Most stimming is harmless and useful. Unless a particular stim hurts the child or others, the goal is not to stop it; the goal is to give it room.

Reduce input first, talk later — dim the lights, lower sound, move to a quieter space, give physical space. Avoid asking questions or explaining; the child usually cannot process language well in that state. A calm, predictable presence is the best help. Over time, an occupational therapist can help map the specific triggers.

The concern is less about screens themselves and more about what they displace — back-and-forth play, language exposure, time outside. The WHO and AAP suggest little or no screen time before age two, then short, supervised, co-viewed sessions. If you can talk with your child about what they are watching, that is different from leaving them alone with autoplay.

It depends on the child and what is hard for them. Speech-language therapy helps with communication; occupational therapy with sensory regulation and daily life. Play-based and naturalistic interventions are often a good fit for young children. We deliberately do not recommend one therapy over another here — there is genuine debate among autistic adults and clinicians about some approaches (notably ABA). Ask your developmental clinician for options and read what autistic adults say about each.

Start with what you have noticed, not the label — "I have been thinking about how he reacts to loud places" lands more gently than "He might be autistic." Give people time. Be ready for unhelpful comments and have a quiet boundary ready ("we are working with a doctor, and I will share more when we know more"). You do not owe anyone the whole story right away.

Common ones: a quiet break space, advance warning of transitions, instructions given visually as well as out loud, allowing a fidget or chew, flexible seating, and reduced or modified homework. The right mix is individual — start with what your child finds hardest and ask the school what is possible.

Genetics plays a significant role — autism runs in families, and identical twins are much more likely to both be autistic than non-identical twins. But there is no single "autism gene," and many autistic children have no family history. Genes shape the likelihood; they do not decide it on their own. If you have a family member on the spectrum and questions about your own child, that is a reasonable thing to raise with your paediatrician.

Boys are diagnosed roughly three to four times more often than girls, but the gap is narrowing as clinicians learn more. Autistic girls often present differently — more masking, different special interests, more imitation of peers — and are missed or diagnosed much later. If your daughter is struggling and the answer she keeps getting is "girls are just like that," it may be worth a second opinion.

Legally, in most countries, autism is recognised as a disability — which is part of how autistic people access support, accommodations, and protections. Culturally, many autistic people describe themselves as disabled by a world built for non-autistic minds, more than by autism itself. Both can be true. Soira treats autism as a way of being that often comes with real support needs.

The current evidence is that autism is largely shaped by genetics, not by screens. What the research does suggest is that very high screen exposure in the early years can be associated with autism-like signs (sometimes called "virtual autism") — but it is hard to tell cause from effect, and many of those children are autistic regardless of screen use. The honest answer: heavy passive screens in infancy are not good for any child, autistic or not, and reducing them is always a reasonable step.

Most paediatric guidance treats live video calls — with a grandparent, a relative, a friend — differently from passive watching. They involve real, two-way interaction, which is the kind of input young brains thrive on. The AAP makes an explicit exception for video chats in its under-18-month guidance. Long, frequent video calls are still tiring; short ones with people who matter are generally fine.

High-quality educational content is better than fast-paced entertainment, especially when an adult watches and talks about it with the child. Under two, the evidence that any educational show meaningfully teaches babies is thin. From age two onwards, short sessions of well-chosen content, co-viewed and discussed, can be a small positive. The label "educational" by itself does not mean much — the content and the conversation around it do.

Going from a lot of tablet to none, suddenly, is hard on everyone. A gentler approach: shrink the sessions, watch together when you can, and slowly replace some screen time with the kind of play they would actually pick if a screen were not the easiest option (bath, water play, sand, drawing). The goal is not zero screens for life — it is screens taking up less of the day, and you using them deliberately.

Mealtimes are one of the most valuable times for family conversation, language development, and feeding behaviour — so most paediatric guidance suggests keeping screens off during meals where possible. We get it: some autistic children eat better with a screen. If a screen is the difference between eating and not eating right now, use it without guilt, and slowly try a meal a week without one.

The headline numbers from the WHO and AAP are: no screen time for under-ones, very little for one- and two-year-olds, and up to roughly an hour a day of supervised content for two- to four-year-olds. What is more useful is the question underneath: is screen time crowding out conversation, play, sleep, and time outside? If yes, it is too much for your household, regardless of the number.

A few things many paediatricians watch at the 18-month visit: does the child point to show you things (not just to ask for things), do they look at your face to share a moment, are they using a handful of words, do they respond to their name. None of these alone confirms autism — but several together is a reason to raise it. If you are worried, you do not need to wait for the next check-up to ask.

On its own, no — many young children, autistic or not, find sustained eye contact intense. What clinicians look at is the pattern alongside other things: do they share moments with their eyes, glance back at you when something interesting happens, look to your face for cues. Forcing eye contact does not help and can feel painful for some autistic children. If you are worried about the whole picture, raise it with your paediatrician.

There is no single right answer. Private assessments are usually faster and more flexible; public assessments are usually free or low-cost and may be the route to certain services and funding. In many places, families do both — start the public waitlist, and if it stretches, look at private. A private diagnosis is generally recognised, but the local rules differ; ask your paediatrician or local autism society what the practical implications are where you live.

A formal assessment usually involves several appointments: a long parent interview about your child's history, structured play-based observation (often the ADOS), and developmental and language testing. It can take several hours total, spread over a few visits. You will get a written report and a meeting to walk through it. Bring snacks for your child and questions for the team.

Yes — and trying AAC does not slow down spoken speech. The research is fairly clear on that. AAC gives a child a way to express needs and ideas now, which often takes pressure off and supports overall language. Start with a speech-language pathologist who has AAC experience; they will help you choose between low-tech (cards, books) and high-tech (apps, dedicated devices).

Sometimes "wait and see" is fine — every child develops on their own timeline. But for some children, the time between concern and support is too long for "wait and see" to be a safe answer. A useful middle path: ask for a speech-language assessment now (it does not commit you to therapy) and use the wait time to build language-rich routines at home. If you stay worried, ask again or get a second opinion.

Not a problem — often the opposite. Echolalia (repeating phrases) is a common step in autistic language development. The child is practising language, often using it meaningfully (a happy line when they are happy, a worried line when they are worried), and many gestalt language processors go from echolalia into more flexible spoken language over time. A speech-language pathologist familiar with gestalt processing can help.

Pointing usually emerges when a child wants to share something with you, not just get something. Try to make sharing rewarding: when they show you anything (a leaf, a toy), match their interest with delight. Place desired things out of reach so they have to communicate. And do not force their hand into a point — model pointing yourself and wait. If by around 18 months they are not pointing at all, mention it to your paediatrician.

In the moment: get your child somewhere quieter and lower the input — quieter voice, dim phone, less talking. You are not performing for the people around you; you are taking care of your child. If you can move, do; if you cannot, sit near them and protect them from being approached or photographed. Afterwards, both of you will need rest. Anyone judging the scene is not a person whose opinion matters.

It can be. Many autistic children eat a narrow range of foods, often grouped by texture, temperature, or brand. This is rarely "fussiness"; it is usually sensory. Forcing new foods generally backfires. A speech-language pathologist or paediatric occupational therapist who works with feeding can help slowly broaden the menu without making mealtimes stressful. If your child is losing weight or running low on iron or other nutrients, see your paediatrician.

Sleep is harder for many autistic children — for reasons that often combine: heightened sensory input, difficulty winding down, melatonin differences, anxiety, and irregular routines. What often helps: predictable bedtime, dim warm light in the hour before sleep, no screens close to bedtime, and a calm, repeated wind-down routine. If sleep problems are severe, a paediatrician can help — sometimes melatonin is appropriate under medical guidance.

Many autistic children find interoception (noticing what is happening inside their body) harder than other senses. Try naming what you see — "your shoulders are up, looks like something is bothering you." Pair feelings with body cues, not abstract words. Books, emotion cards, and simple body-mapping (where do you feel that?) can all help over time. This is slow work; small mentions across the day beat one big lesson.

Three questions are usually more useful than a list of approaches: does this therapist listen to my child, do they explain what they do and why, and do they invite me into the work. A good therapist will tell you what they expect to see in a few months, and will adjust if it does not happen. If a therapist makes big promises, talks over your child, or insists their way is the only way, that is a flag.

You are hearing mixed things because they are. Some studies support behavioural intervention for early communication and skills; many autistic adults have written about distress from compliance-focused or older-style ABA. Modern, neurodiversity-affirming ABA exists, but quality varies enormously between providers. Soira does not endorse or reject ABA. If you are considering it, ask the provider to describe their approach, look for one that includes the child's voice, and read what autistic adults say.

The early years are when brains are most plastic, which is part of why early intervention has good research behind it. But there is no cliff after which it is "too late." Children and teens learn and grow throughout childhood, and so do families. If you only learned recently, you have not missed your chance — start where you are.

Some supplements (such as melatonin for sleep, under medical guidance) have a real evidence base. Many marketed as "autism treatments" do not, and a few — chelation, restrictive megavitamin regimens, ozone — can be actively harmful. Before starting anything, run it past your paediatrician. The simplest filter: if a programme promises to dramatically change your autistic child, be very cautious.

It depends on the child, the schools available, and what supports either setting can actually deliver. Mainstream school with strong supports can be wonderful for many autistic children; for others, a specialist setting is the better fit. The right question is not "which is better in general" but "which can meet my child where they are this year." Decisions can also change between years.

It is common — many autistic children mask hard at school and unravel at home. Ask the school for specific observations across the day, including unstructured times (lunch, transitions). Share what you see at home in concrete terms. If you have a written report from a clinician, share it. If the gap continues, ask the school what it would take for them to take the concerns seriously, and put your concerns in writing.

Most after-school meltdowns are about the cumulative load of the school day, not the homework itself. A few things that often help: a longer break before starting, shorter sessions with breaks, doing the hardest task first or last (depending on the child), and asking the teacher whether the volume of homework can be adjusted. If homework is taking far longer than the school says it should, that is information worth sharing with the teacher.

Sooner and more matter-of-factly than feels natural. Autistic children almost always do better knowing — it gives them words for what they have always felt. You do not need a single big conversation; weave it in across many small ones. "Your brain works a bit differently — that is why X is easy for you and Y is hard." Many autistic adults wish they had been told earlier, in plain words, without sadness around the diagnosis.

This is one of the hardest moments for many couples. Some things that help: separate the questions of "is something different" from "what should we do about it" — agreeing on the first is easier. Watch a credible video or read a short article together rather than relying on memory of arguments. Ask the paediatrician for a consultation visit without your child first. And give it time; many partners come around when they see their child observed by a clinician.